Communication - Reprinted with Permission

I know it is a touch early for this week's note, but I doubt if I will have a chance to write tomorrow so there you have it.

 

What makes for good communication between two human beings? How can you tell what someone is trying to say to you? Well, you may think this is easy and say "duh, listen to their words." Unfortunately, the spoken word is onlyabout 8% of the message you are sending. The rest has to do with your posture, facial expressions, tone, inflection, volume, and everything else. Yeah, we are taught this in our communication classes and at leadership seminars, but come on, who really listens to and follows that kind of stuff?

 

I listened to it this time. And finally, I listened to it for real for once. Then I had the opportunity to apply it and I did. After that, I had the opportunity to apply it again and again, with each time getting more comfortable and meaning more to me than the last time. I would have to walk up to a new person I had never seen before (usually a student, occasionally a parent, from time to time another unrelated adult), look them straight in the eyes, shake their hand, and introduce myself. I made sure I had decent posture, slightly forward, arms down at my sides, and the more I did it, the more comfortable it became.

 

Okay, you wonder why on earth I am blabbing on about this, but I am telling you for one reason; it worked. You would not believe the difference that it made to students who might not have mingled with anyone otherwise. I can't put a price on any of the connections I made recently because of this method of attention to detail. I feel like I made a lot of kids' experiences better by making them feel more comfortable; one girl who was sitting on her own informed me that she wasn't hungry even though it was lunch time so we sat and chatted. Before long I offered to give her a tour of the dining facility and guess what? Suddenly she said to me "I guess I'll eat something after all." That was all it took. Win.

 

I actually used to be really good at this when I was younger, I was so fearless I could communicate clearly with anyone! Unfortunately, the world got its hands on me and I began to feel as if I was invading people's private spaces by looking them straight in the eyes, by touching their hands as we shook. No more... Everywhere I go from now on, no matter the camp, book signing, or other event, I am all about this straightforward and friendly communication style. I wish more people could be like band people because it would really make the world a better place.

J.M. Hope